Hi there
I hope this message finds you in a moment of peace and wellness. I've dedicated much of my life to exploring the depths of human resilience. Plus the pathways to healing. Today, I want to address a common saying that often goes unchallenged:
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." While this phrase intends to inspire resilience, it overlooks the reality of human experience. Particularly when it comes to trauma.
At the age of 11, I encountered a traumatic event that had a significant impact on my life. This experience didn't immediately manifest as strength. Instead, it led to a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) six months later. A side note on PTSD. This diagnosis cannot happen until at least 6 months after the event. We all suffer traumas in life. But not everyone gets diagnosed with this luckily.
Marking the beginning of a period filled with vulnerability and suffering. It wasn't until I discovered yoga that I found a semblance of peace and a tool for healing. Yoga became my sanctuary, offering a path to rebuild my strength from the inside out.
Fast forward to the 11th of January, 2024. A devastating fire severely damaged my home and shook my family to its core. This event triggered my PTSD, yet the outcome was different this time. Thanks to the resilience tools I've developed over the years.
Daily yoga personalised to my unique needs being the main thing. I was able to navigate this challenge with a newfound strength. This journey has taught me that trauma can indeed narrow our window of tolerance. This is a concept developed by Dr. Dan Siegel, MD. This window represents the optimal zone of arousal in which we can function in daily life. Trauma can push us outside this window. As the window becomes smaller. Pushing us into states of hyper-arousal. Characterised by overwhelm and hyper-vigilance. Or hypo-arousal, where numbness and detachment occurs.
These reactions are beyond our control. Yet they highlight the importance of having the right support and tools. With time and effort, we can expand our window of tolerance. Enhancing our ability to stay balanced and resilient in the face of life's challenges.
Thus, I challenge the notion that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Without acknowledging the need for support and healing practices. Plus resilience-building tools, we risk oversimplifying the complex journey of recovery from trauma. My personal and professional experiences underscores the importance of:
✅ a supportive community;
✅ Holistic practices like yoga that acknowledge the body and mind connection; and
✅ an understanding of our psychological mechanisms as essential components of healing and growth.
Let's embrace a more compassionate and realistic perspective on resilience and strength. It's not about surviving. It's about how we navigate the aftermath with the right support. As well as understanding, and tools at our disposal.
With warmth and wellness,
Liz Albanis
